live fearlessly ❤

Had session today. And it's one of those moments when you just get inspired I guess ? It's just special and unique to me . His love for us was there before the beginning of time and all. The story of salvation and  the history of salvation was a beautiful and unique story to me. Concluded session marveling at how deep god's love is for us. How much he loves us all. 

Going for the youth conference, there was a video shown. That showed how god taught us so many things in life and yet time after time, we fall into temptation and strayed away from him. Was almost in tears watching that video because it reminded me so much of me. I was moved by the story because once upon a time , I fought his love too. I denied him and didn't want him in my life . 

Even going for the conference without the presence with all the people I was comfortable with was a scary thing for me. Yet god sent me an angel to make me feel safe (: I met Timothy at the conference and I was so glad to have someone that I was confortable with there . Shared with Tim how I felt on the way back to church on the bus . Being a convert is a whole different journey for me. Trying to embrace god in a way you never tried to. It's just scary and different from everyone else's journey. Your journey is uniquely yours and no one can go on that journey for you. 

So much has changed since I've been back to church. I started to love so much more . His love shines through mine and I love him in ways that I cannot imagine. His love for me was so strings it brought me back to church. He taught me how to love better. Love those around me even if they treated you Unjustly . Love those who offended you and so much more. More importantly , he taught me how to love myself more. Like how he loves me, he taught me to love myself with all my heart. 

I've always thought that those years away from church, he was never there for me, he didn't care . But looking back now, I marvel at the every fact that he has always been there for me. He never failed to love me and be there for me. He was there through it all, though all the times I've cried and through all the times I've smiled . And his love eventually brought me home to his embrace and arms . 

Going on this journey is certainly a fear I'll always have . I struggle all the time to push this feeling away. Because I refuse to let fear overcome me and stop me from knowing god. Because  I WANT to be closer to god . BecAuse I'm still seeking for him and his mission for me. There so much more I want to do with his love. Because he salvaged me from self destruction. Because his love, changed me. 

So many people have told me I've changed . Have I ? I keep asking myself . Yes perhaps I have. I stopped trying to please the world. I stop trying to be everyone else but myself . Because I finally see that that is enough . God loves me still, people who accepted me loves me still. That is enough. His love is all that I crave for and need. His love brings me up. And never let's me fall. He is my father, my best friend, my savior. My god. 

He taught me before pleasing anyone else, it's most important to please him and yourself . You see I haven't changed . I'm still me. Forever and ever . I'll always be Nicole Seraphina-Joan Chong huixin (: no one can take that away from me. Because god gave me my life and I will love it and live it to its fullest. 

Sure there will be things in life that will scare me. But with his grace I'm sure ill be okay. After all, he did bring me back to church.